Baby love

My mate Dave from back home sent me a message on MSN this morn (paraphrased):

Dave: Alia
Alia: Dave
Dave: Got some big news
Alia: Oooooh - you're pregnant!
(I only said this as a joke, I always say he's pregnant as another way of saying he's podgy - yes, you may wonder why/how I have any friends at all)

Dave: lol yes, well, Lucy is.
Alia: Congrats! That's fantastic news!
Dave: hehe - thanks, can't believe it, really overwhelmed but so happy
Alia: Cor.. so as you and Lucy aren't married, does that mean that I can call your child a bastard?
Dave: LOL
Dave: NO
Alia: It's only polite to ask first...
Alia: can't stop laughing now
Dave: Well, I've never accused you of being impolite. Said a lot of bad stuff, but not impolite ;)
Alia: I'm actually crying - weeing tears of joy
Alia: Er... that should be weeping
Dave: You're urinating tears? Of joy? Honestly Alia, there's some things i don't need to know
Alia: Maybe you should name the kid after where it was conceived! You could call it Mazda!
Dave: Ooh, I like Mazda. It's almost as good as Jermajesty.